Thursday, January 31, 2008

Locked And Loaded

After 2 of my closest chatmates has left for japan I was stuck in a rut. I don't know what to do next with my life. One day when I looked at the mirror I saw myself looking old and dry. As in really dry. With the driving from manila to angeles my skin got burned slowly. I looked dirty (yes dirty as in filthy).

It was just in time, My plans to disappear is now in full action. It has been 5 days since I have lost communication with my closest friends. My friendster, YM and downelink account is blocked. I ask a friend of mine to change the password until further notice. I'm not yet sure when I will comeback. I needed inner healing ... and I realized that it was not just the inner thing that I should fix. I should also focus on my physical aspect.

Weight Management
Our fridge is now packed with healthy things. Fruits and veggies. Right now I'm back to my Atkins slash South beach slash crash diet. Mid of February I'm planning to go on the "Master Cleanse Diet". Master Cleanse Diet is the cleansing of your digestive system. You will do it in 10 days. You only have lemonade to keep you alive. I know it's drastic but I needed drastic change. For now, I'm minimizing my food intake so that when I do the Master Cleanse Diet I will be ready.

I went back to gym, using what is left of the membership. I have canceled my membership. I was getting bored but I will be dedicated and focus with my last month membership. The good news is that I have an equipment at home to do my weight training. I have a copy of turbo jam, bump and burn and hip hop abs. That would be my alternative for not going to the gym.

I'm at 201 lbs. Only 1 more lb and I would be able to break the 200 line. It's really though believe me. Sleepless nights.

Skin Care Management
Before I never cared about my skin. I don't care if my skin is dark or if I have pimples. But as you grow older this things matter. My arms and face is not the same color as my body and lower extremities. I have darker skin on the arms and the face.

I've heard several things about this wonder drug, GLUTHATIONE. I haven't tried it yet so this would be the first for me. I rushed by to the nearest drugstore and bought a bottle of it. We'll see if there would be any improvements.

With me taking gluthatione, I was advice to minimize my exposure to the sunlight but if it is unavoidable, I should wear a sunscreen or a sunblock. So I bought a sunblock too. The recommended SPF (Sun Protection Factor) was 50. The highest SPF that I saw was 35. I realized that with sunblock the higher the SPF the more expensive it becomes.

Also, when taking in Gluthatione the other skin layer should also be removed using exfoliants such as tretinoin or diamond peel. The diamond peel, I cannot afford now. So I settled for the Kojic acid soap. I think this would help remove the dead skin cells from your skin. Thus exposing the fairer complexion that was the result of the Gluthatione intake.

I've notice that there are lines now appearing at the side of my eyes. Maybe it's with the chain smoking. I purchased Pond's age miracle cream. It promises lesser visible lines, finer pores and more supple skin in just 7 DAYS! hahaha I feel like a commercial model. Anyway, with regards to smoking I was trying to quit, remember my blog ... the withdrawal thingy ... I'm trying to quit but it's really hard. Any suggestions?

I guess that's about it! I'm locked and loaded. Before I end this blog, I would like to quote Hilda (Ugly Betty's sister) - "Gorgeous doesn't just happen".

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Bridge

Twice it had happened to me. I would have a friend. The person will be very close. Not knowing that you are falling for that person slowly. You tried to kill the emotion because you know it's not right. Let's call this friend Person 1. Then you have another friend, Person 2. You introduce them and slowly they become close. Then you realize that you are falling for Person 1. Then Person 2 tells you that he/she is falling for person 1. You tried to hide it. Then the inevitable happens. You become the bridge of Person 1 and Person 2. You did, you tried to arrange things for the both of them. But deep inside you are hurting. As a good friend, we don't show our emotions. But as their "getting to know" stage becomes deeper and deeper. You feel that you can't handle it anymore. Pandora's box breaks open and you tell Person 1. He/She then ignores all your rantings and showing that person how much they mean to you.

Then suddenly, out of the blue. Person 1 and 2 hooks up and you are the first person to know. You tried to move away. You tried to forget the emotions. But still you care for person 1 and also for person 2 because both of them are close to you. You wanted to make amense with them but you know you will still get hurt.

Then suddenly you found out that they broke up. And that they both needed comforting. They have no one to go but you. Then both of them reach out. You wanted to get away but you just can't. You tried to be a good friend but you know deep inside that you are not yet healed.

Will you be a good friend to the both of them? Will you try to fix things? You know that they both still love each other. Then all the pains comes back. In the end, you are the one who is affected, you are the one who's left alone.

======================================
DREAMING OF YOU

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I'd wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Cuz I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you even see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far, all I have are dreams of you
So, I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you(Yes, I do)

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Ahhh...I can't stop dreaming of you
Ahhh...I can't stop dreamin

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe that you came up to me
And said, "I love you; I love you too"

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow, and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming with you endlessly...




Wednesday, January 2, 2008

What Lies Ahead (2008)

The year ended for me badly. I needed a jump start, a beacon of hope or whatever. I usually check on my horoscope so that I would have a guide on what to avoid. For none believers, to each his own, besides we control our life, I just needed to peek on the future. hehehe I got this from astrology.com. Just check it out if you want to glimpse of 2008

Chinese Horoscope ( Sheep )

Sheep Ratings

42% (5 favorable and 7 unfavorable months)

After what was probably a very favorable, Pig, year this year might seem like a disaster. It is important, however, for you to understand that you are still looking at five, favorable months. There will thus be plenty of opportunities if you do not get down and let negative emotions get the best of you. Your natural inclination is most likely to follow your heart, but you will do much better this year if you can let your head dictate your actions.

Sheep Career

Your management may be pressuring you this year to work even more. You can find spots for advancement and make progress on your work if you stay diligent with the tasks at hand. The biggest drawback to your year is the pressure on you, and your inclination to say yes and take on more work than you can handle. Be rational about your workload and don't be scared to say no if the load is too much to bear.

Sheep Relationships

For the single Sheep, the Year of the Earth Rat could lead to the blossoming of true love. You may find that temptation to date more than one person falls on you in more than one instance. However, existing relationships could be problematic. Be careful not to be overly trusting or you'll wind up hurt later. At the same time, be wary of rumors and gossip, as they will lead to unnecessary arguments.

Sheep Health

Work could be the drain on you, and the more you are inclined to overwork yourself, the more likely you will be to experience increased stress levels and exposure to illness. While this advice is always good, it is even more so this year under the influence of the Earth element. Do your best to not get down on yourself when things don't go your way. Overall, the year should be one of good health if you take the typical steps towards proper maintenance.

Sheep Wealth

Your finances should be looking up this year. Earth years are good years for saving and planning which bodes well for those that keep a conservative mindset. You may be due for a surprise during one of your down months that could turn out to be unpleasant. Make sure you've tucked away enough to cover the costs associated with an unexpected accident or maintenance.


CANCER HOROSCOPE

OVERVIEW: Cozy Cancer will have a great year focusing on the home front. So much of your energy will be giving more to your personal relationships and partnerships. Security and home is such an important part of your makeup and will take center stage in your priorities. Being emotionally sensitive to good relationships that are nourishing and loving will help add harmony in all aspects of your life. The changes you experience in your life will be deeply felt and lasting.

Positive things come from the deep level of attention you give to these transformational opportunities. You will reap great rewards as you learn to expand your communication skills and be true to your inner self and your own personal needs. You are learning new ways of maintaining harmony in your individuality at work and around friends and family. It is important for you to maintain a positive self-image the way you define who you are and how you feel about life as you bring your energy out into the world.

You desire recognition and the more you focus on keeping up a good attitude about your career and life in general, people that you thought overlooked your good efforts will be your greatest and most supportive allies. New opportunities to venture out on your own in business will open up for you, yet if you decide to stay where you are, you will be reaping financial rewards as well. Keep your optimism strong no matter if you decide to move on or stay where you are. Between juggling your own needs and maintaining balance in your relationships, summer will be a wonderful time to get away and take time out for yourself to enjoy relaxing by the sea, swimming and enjoying life.



CAREER: Your career gets off to a good start early in the year and you will feel as if you are in a good place to help others. You can do almost any type of job with your attention to detail, ability to concentrate and communication skills. You have an inherent love for health and the perfection of the physical body, and may feel called to work on innovative healthcare. You work very well with people and would also make a good arbitrator or lawyer, championing fairness in relationships. You may need to slow down.

Become more aware of how you can more carefully communicate your needs and aspirations. You need your best side to come through loud and clear. With your sharp abilities to focus on your work and the strong mental connection you have to clearly express yourself in a very practical and matter-of-fact way, you can accomplish a lot without expending more energy than needed. Your dreams are idealistic and you are excited about your personal success and positive service to others. You have a tendency toward fastidiousness and perfectionism which helps make you a good detail artist. You have a talent for design wherein beauty and functionality are combined.

Your strong heart connection and passion for excellence may be feeling a little cramped by someone in authority that might want you to take a different direction. New exciting opportunities to venture out on your own may arise. You may feel somewhat restricted in the expression of your passionate nature. Develop more faith in your abilities and have a more positive attitude toward your own innate wisdom and abilities for optimum success this year.



LOVE: By putting so much energy into your individual growth, it won't be surprising if you attract a wonderful new love into your life that reflects all your inner work. Take advantage of the opportunities for adventure that await you as you establish a harmonious relationship this year. You and your true love can nestle away in bliss and have the open communication that is the basis for a solid foundation in your future. Creating balance despite a demanding lifestyle will help you to attract the person you desire.

Having a romantic love in your life will open up your whole existence to feeling wonderful in all areas of your life. You magnify the good feelings you already have, and your partner can match your moods in an uplifting way. The more time you invest in creating happiness within your own heart and mind, the more your whole existence will feel wonderful. You have long awaited a commitment and your passion is hard to hide. Relationship security is very important, so going with the flow and appreciating what you have are will help you gain that which you want.

Stimulating moments can bring struggle and blessings at the same time. Spend time to reflect and meditate if insecurity or feelings of uneasiness strike. Consider practical solutions to move this relationship to the next level. What you do to draw on your inner strength will affect how you manifest expression in all areas of your life. The end of the year will be more fluid, bringing the rewards you are looking for.


Tuesday, January 1, 2008

New Years Evilution (2008)

I wanted to change for the New Year and this time I am serious. If it sounds evil sorry that would be the new JEX.

1. I will no longer be nice to people that I don't know.

2. Those who have hurt me will pay big time.

3. I will become gorgeous but no one will ever break into my heart.

4. I will treat bitchy people like trash.

5. I will no longer avoid confrontations.

6. I will pay all my debts and they will have debts to me.

7. I will push people (those who hurt me) down to the ground until they hit not rock bottom but hell.

8. I will think of bad thoughts against people.

9. I will not care about people's judgement.

10. They will bow down to me!

11. I will travel the philippines and the world wreaking havoc! those who stands in my way will die!

12. I will be tackless.

13. I will drink and smoke a lot!

14. I will hate nice people.

15. I will splurge.

I can't think of anything else. If you think that's too much! FUCK OFF BITCHES!!!