IT'S JERICHO THE BITCH!

“Everything I need to learn, I learned in kindergarten”. Bullshit! Everything I need to learn I learned when I graduated. I learned that in life it’s either you get eaten or be eaten (sounds kinky hehehe). They should have prepared us to be warriors in kindergarten. Learned how to fight. They should have thought us the secrets on how not to get affected by the people that was born to be bitches and bastard. To stand up and go for the kill and feel nothing after.

Being brutal is a thing that should have been instilled in the minds of the people. Because kindness suffocates us, it suppresses our emotions. It makes us weak and it kills us. Hiding things from us just to protect us but in the end when you learned the truth it is much more very (all the superlative hehehe) painful. They should have thought us how to block and counter attack. And the counter attack should be deadly. I grew up always being nice trying not to hurt other people feelings but in the end you are the one who carries the burden. I hope I know some martial arts. I have a hidden passion to learn how to throw a knife and hitting the target in the heart.

I don’t like to be nice anymore, you get taken for granted. But I can’t help it, It’s already part of my skin. No matter how bitchy I tried I can’t remove the sugar and spice and everything nice. I wish that there is a chemical "X" that you can take just like the power puff girls so you can have the power to defeat people or a potion that will turn you to Mr. Hyde.

I also would like to say things to people that is playing in my mind and don’t feel guilty about it. I want to be crazy so I can have an excuse to be bitchy. Slowly I’m feeling burned out. Getting tired. I’m tired of listening to other people and wish that sometimes they listen to me and take me seriously and ask me if I'm okay and really mean it.

THINGS I HATE!

I hate people who likes shortcuts I feel everyone is equal they should go the right way. I hate people who are corrupt and try to make money from you. I hate people that pretends they are listening but the don't. I hate interrupters and won’t let me finish my thoughts it makes me feel disrespected. I hate "know it all people" it makes me feel stupid. I hate it when people corrects my grammar because I feel conscious and end up mixing my words and thoughts. I hate people who doesn’t know how to appreciate it makes me feel worthless. I hate perfectionist because nobody is perfect. I hate my life because it’s like a series of unfortunate events come to life and I feel I'm losing control. I hate people who doesn’t answer text messages there’s no excuse for it. I hate people who doesn’t have time for me because I am always available when they need me. I hate it when I feel down and I feel there’s no one to talk too. I hate people who competes with your problem saying there are more unfortunate and there are more unfortunate people than me.

Wow that's relieving, sarap! try nyo! hehehe

disclaimer : minsan lang to pagbigyan niyo na, If you think I'm a bitch or plastic this blog is successful in stirring up your emotions.hahaha I know you feel the same way too.

Bangungot sa Siesta

Exactly at 12 noon today, October 10, 2007 my father's package arrived from abroad. The usual stuffs, canned good, noodles, dates, some clothes but what got excited me the most was this 3 big bags of Van Houten Hazel Nut Chocolates. I immediate grab and and hid it. I was craving for this chocolate for a long time since I have been dieting. Then there's also a can of sour creme pringles. I couldn't help my self. I went back to my room and ate the 1 whole bar of the Van Houten as if there was no tomorrow. The sun has not been kind today, It was scorching hot. I went down to the living room and put on a dvd. While watching a munching on the pringles. It was total bliss. In the middle of the movie I fell asleep. Then it happened ...

I was in deep sleep, My dream was very real. I went back to dubai and same thing the plane crashed. I have been having this bad dream before but it stopped. Then it came back again. Fortunately, in that dream I just got of the plane or sometimes when I got left and I would see the plane burst into flames. Have you notice that sometimes dreams are not in sequence. After that unfaithful incident, Suddenly I was like going after a long time crush of mine. He's in UAE by the way. And he said that he's happy with his relationship, to leave him alone and that he was there for his son. I was shocked. Son? you don't have a son and you broken up with your girlfriend. Then I woke up, still lying in the sofa in the living room. My hands was over my head then I felt someone tugging my hand. It felt so real. I couldn't move. I wanted to shout. I was asking .. "sino ka?". The person keep on tugging it. I was trying to scramble but I couldn't move. I realize, I was still dreaming. I'm trying to wake up. Trying to shout but it was like my lips were glued. My right arm was suddenly free. I then tried to hit the center table with my hand. To no use, I was still in my nightmare. I felt that, that was my end. No more waking up. I tried to bite my tounge. Luckily. I woke up. I was drench in sweat. I felt so tired. I wanted to get up but I can't. Then I felt that I was falling asleep again. I forced my butt of to stand up and get water. Then I went up to my bedroom.

It has been a long time since I last had a nightmare like this. Was it a wake up call. Or was I just being punished for binging on chocolates and junk food. Scary. Just wanted to share.